The TV cartoon Ugly Americans tends to be one of my secret pleasures. If I spot it on, I’ll generally flip to it and watch the crazy antics of a guy trying to be a monster social worker. Not to mention the fact that it is kinda cool that his girlfriend is a demon. His co-worker is a wizard who more often than naught acts like a drunken stage magician (probably because more often than naught he IS drunk). Of course, I hadn’t realized just exactly I would be in for by picking up my PS3′s controller and firing up Ugly Americans: Apocalypsegeddon.
A small intro plays that basically tells me that the world is doomed and I have to save it. Standard everyday crisis, right? Anyways, you’re given a weapon that fires anything you put into it and that means ANYTHING. Baseballs, paint-cans, tennis balls, and wrenches will all become your weapons of monster fighting destruction. My first case I took on, playing as Mark the social worker, was to stop the man birds. I made the mistake of playing this while in the company of my fiancee, who was promptly disgusted by the man birds. The man birds walk around flinging filth, dropping shit bombs and curse the daylight out of anyone in their presence. Such vulgarities as “suckmacoch” and others forced her to flee the room. Mission successful.
The graphics and auditory enhancements stay true to the series, as well it should. These are the same voice actors as the show has and I would be curious to know if the developer, 345 games, hired any of the animators to help. I question that simply because they nailed the animation style. The story line takes the same trepidations and offensiveness that the show puts out. Quite frankly, it is apparent that this is one of the secret pleasures that should stay secret in my household. I like that I don’t have to keep it secret if I have like minded friends, as the game allows for 4-players.
If you’re a fan of the show, this game is a must for you to get. Enjoy your zombie, demon, and man bird fighting either on PSN or XBLA for only $9.99. Simply put, if you don’t buy it I well send you a man bird to raise as your own and wreck havoc on your social life.*
*This offer is not valid as man birds do not exist, but you get the point!
Just this summer I sold off my old Tippman Custom 98 paintball marker. Even though it had an expandable stock, an expansion chamber with a drop down for the tank,and a response trigger and a cyclone feed system to properly push through balls; I still ended up selling it for $30. You see, I hadn’t been to a paintball course in years. I’ve forgotten what it is like to feel the sting of defeat while trying to doge and mark others. I just figured I was getting too old and fat to be crouching through the woods. Never in a million years have I ever considered giving a speed ball course a try. It seemed too fast paced for me, whereas I like to stalk my prey through the heavy brush. I would likely never have that experience again, if it wasn’t for Greg Hastings Paintball 2.
I find it interesting that before this game came, I spotted my former roommate playing a Greg Hasting’s game on his PS2. Interesting enough is the fact that Greg Hasting’s Paintball 2 is completely downloadable on PSN. I mean it shouldn’t surprise me so much as full games are downloadable, but what did surprise me is how small the game actually is. I wonder if the PS2 disc was actually full or not. I am unsure how big the sport is these days, it seems to be a pain junkie’s version of volleyball in regards to how far outside of mainstream sports it is, but how devoted the players and fans are. As the player progresses through the game, changes can be made to the roster which involves choosing actual professional paintball to add to your team. Heck, even if I was playing in a sport that wasn’t on prime time television, I would still clamor to get my face and stats into a video game. Also, I feel unsure if the average player would really care about the managerial side of things, such as buying a new roster or equipment, other than trying to buy a better marker with which to shoot. I myself rarely made any changes as I could not see the point. Though I did opt to purchase a different marker that had a slower fire rate, but a better accuracy and range. Even then, you’ll be making shots that have to be lobbed at an angle.
The matches themselves are fairly fun, even if the controls are non-standard for an fps. This is because there is quite a range of motion that is provided. Running and ducking throws you into a full dive and aiming while hiding will cause you to peak out from your cover. The option is available to switch which side of the marker your view is on in case you are on the other side of the inflatable cover you’ve hidden behind. While I did say the controls are non-standard, they are quite accurate. To me it seems you can perform most maneuvers a real professional would make. The only thing missing would be to lay on your back, but I don’t see other video games doing that either. I finally bought myself a move and tried a few matches out with it. The movement and aiming with the Move is excellent. I had to use a controller in my left hand as a replacement for the navigation controller, but I made due. I actually think I shot a little better using the Move, though it could be my imagination.
I certainly enjoyed this game, I tend to hit it up when I am sick of blood and gore in other games. The graphics are decent and I am glad that I could not spot a bit of cartoon appearances anywhere, as it would have spoiled the game for me. The management of the team certainly might appeal to some players, regardless of weather they follow the sport or not. I suppose if I go back and look into it, having better players on my team might increase my odds of winning matches, but I tend to be a lone wolf trying to take everyone out by myself. Of course, I myself rather enjoyed the woodsball. It seems this will be the only way to get me back on a field with a marker in hand. If you miss the nostalgic days of being beaten up by paint and would rather not remember the pain, why not give Greg Hastings Paintball 2 a try. It’s only $19.99 on the PlayStation Network and you can find it for the Wii or Xbox 360 for the same price if you look hard enough.